My Alien Valentine
by KrypticKrow
Summary: “So what do you not understand?” I asked awkwardly. Zim glanced at me still radiating with irritation “I…” The green child sighed “What’s er, swapping spit? Why would humans want to swap liquids in the mouth? Is it er… Costmary?"


**It's a day late but so what?**

**My Alien Valentine **

**"So what do you not understand?" I asked awkwardly. Zim glanced at me still radiating with irritation "I…" The green child sighed "What's er, swapping spit? Why would humans want to swap liquids in the mouth? Is it er… Costmary?" he asked as if he was afraid it was.**

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Black birds flocked in the school yard flew aimlessly in circles around a tree whose fingers intertwined with branches that scratched at the window as if it were a maniac outside the glass tapping the transparent doorway with a knife asking if it could come in side, safe from the bitter, malign, and bloodsucking cold.

I pushed my glasses up from the tip of my nose up closer to my eyes were they should be, but they insisted on landing on a more so south position, in which granted my agitation.

As the glasses slide down once more I sighed in defeat and began scribbling down some random thoughts about my arch nemesis as the echo of our mono tone 8th grade teacher wrote notes on the chalk bored expecting us to right something down, she rambled on about how we'd never succeed in our miserable attempts at life.

I simply tuned her out not wanting to take in the animosity she felt towards the world and life it's self. In fact I was grateful we wouldn't have her next year.

Next year…

Next year we'd be in high school that excited everyone. Everyone didn't include myself, so there for all of the 8th grade class was thrilled to go to high school, except me.

What was so accomplishing about getting to high school?

It was just another year I hadn't defeated the green Irken wanting to take over the planet I love the most.

My own

A folded up peace of paper in the shape of Zim's home planet insignia landed on my desk. How he got it to fold like that I have no clue. I glared over at the neighboring seat, at Zim. The green Irken had gained new attire, one that ditched the swirling black wig for a straight wig that had bangs combed to his left side covering his eye. He wore an eco friendly shirt that was black and had an earth in a heart. Under it said 'save the planet'

How ironic

And he wore baggy cameo pants which suited the shirt and his skin. The Green boy granted me the most arrogant of smirks. I flared my nostrils at the Irken breath.

For god knows what reason the mono tone teacher seated us next to each other 8th grade year. Also unlike the 6th grade (Sorry I don't know what grade they are in, in the series. I figured the 6th grade was kinda close.) we were settled in the back rather then the front.

But at least I was still by a beloved window seat. Though now it was a snowy February in the spring I would be glad to hold the throne, window seat.

I unfolded the paper to be met with a rather dumb note, Zim must have been bored.

* * *

_Dib Human, _

_You are doomed_

_Bow before Zim_

_Rawr._

_-Future ruler_

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Even though I shouldn't be sucked in to such a ridiculous battle I decided there was nothing better to do. Plus It'd settle the score, I was down two.

* * *

_idiot Zim,_

_You will never take me alive!_

_Gr._

_-Dib._

* * *

I folded the not in a simple square and flicked it to Zim's desk, we wrote notes back and forth furiously eventually the note gained random doodles of us two fighting over the planet and the note became more like a horrible drawn comic book the a note past between two students.

In evidently we ran out of space on the lines of both sides but neither of us would be the last to write so we began writing random things anywhere we could.

In the end the note became entirely impossible to read.

The bell rang for lunch and both Zim and I continued the routine of being last out the door and last in line. We constantly argued and debated on things, we even sat together at lunch now.

Others viewed us a friends, even Gaz did, but we knew the truth! We were far from it; we were just going along with the saying.

Friends close, enemies closer.

The lunch line was ridiculously long so Zim and I stood in the back of it glaring at one another, Gaz in front of us playing her DSI, she was playing phantom hourglass when the 7th grader glanced at us and said "Gez, stop glaring and swap spit already. Everyone knows you're gay for each other."

My eyes burned holes into the side of her head as my pale cheeks turned pale pink and hands balled up into fists, my lips yelling "How dare you suggest something like that!" I was enflamed with rage; I was hoping Zim would join in on proving Gaz wrong in our defense. But he didn't I glared over at the green teen and there he was, just standing there looking confused at Gaz. Said girl then became engulfed in her game and it became useless to communicate with her.

I laughed half nervous and half arrogant at Zim.

Zim like always caught I was nervous, and thus transferred that confused gaze towards me.  
"Don't understand?" I mocked

"Zim understands! Zim knows all!" he said crossing his arms and looking irritatingly off to the side. Huffing in spite of me.

I knew he was confused.

But what of?

The swapping spit part or…

I gulped I knew what gay was cause our uncle is gay, I went to his wedding in the 5th grade and Membrane had to explain to us what gay was.

It was an awkward conversation.

He also told me if I were gay he'd never accept it. He wanted grandchildren. He was safe I assumed. I didn't think of ANYONE like that. Then anyway…

"So what do you not understand?" I asked awkwardly. Zim glanced at me still radiating with irritation "I…" The green child sighed "What's er, swapping spit? Why would humans want to swap liquids in the mouth? Is it er… Costmary?" he asked as if he was afraid it was.

I still thought 'swapping spit' was gross. But maybe Irken spit wouldn't be so ba- EH! What the hell am I thinking?!

"Kind of" I replied blushing bright red and looking away. Damn it, why was I blushing?

"Why do they 'swap' said spit?"

I shifted uncomfortably, I needed away from everyone. Some place quite. "why don't we skip lunch, you don't like earth food anyway"

Zim cocked his head to the side, but figuring it was a waste of time to ask, shrugged and replied with a 'sure'

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We went and sat around in the boys bathroom. I leaned against the wall beside Zim who quietly ate a candy bar that he bought in a vending machine before we got in line. Zim hated anything that didn't have high amounts of sugar in it. In fact after lunch Zim puked the contents of what he called 'disgusting' earth food into the toilet then ate a candy bar of some kind.

Zim slouched to the floor and sat in a kind of squatting position nibbling his chocolate. I wonder if his lips tasted of chocolate? EW! WHAT AM I THINKING!?

The noseless boy scratched his blue eye contact. I looked over at him, must be annoying having to wear something like that all the time. Ugh, maybe I shouldn't be so close to the little invader.

"So why do humans swab spit?" Zim muttered the question, but I could hear it plan as day.

"It's called a French kiss" I said benching the space between my eye brows.

"Isn't the filthy land mass we live in America?" he inquired

I sighed "Yes but it's- it's just a name"

"Oh a kiss from France okay…" he took a crunch out of his rectangle of sweetness "go on…" he said expectantly.

I rolled my eyes "Don't order me around" I retorted, really because I didn't want to explain.

Zim jumped up glaring at me "I did not order you earth-breath!" he practically yelled five inches from my face.

He's lips were so plump, so pretty, so gawd! What am I thinking!?

He fisted his sweet angry with me "And I. Zim! Will order you around Dib-Stank if I want to!"

Something swept over me when he yelled getting slightly closer.

I yelled back "You wanna know what a French kiss is!?" I stepped up closing the space between us grabbing both sides of his face, Zim was shocked and was trying to back away, but I wisped him around and pinned him to the wall we were once leaning against.

The half eat chocolate fell to the floor.

I then closed the space between our body's pressing against him, then our faces. I slowly drew my lips closer till half an inch was all that was left. I whispered "I'll show you" and then crashed my lips into his.

His lips tasted normal enough, much like a human, but what about the inside? Zim was very tense, probably unaware of what to do, but he didn't push me away, I took it as a sign to continue teaching the Alien the art of kissing.  
I nibbling on his bottom lip causing him to gasp that allowed me the chance to invade his mouth with my tongue the aroma of his mouth filled my senses. I had kissed a girl once before, Angela it was a second grade dare, apparently she liked me, but I didn't return such emotions. But a dare's a dare.

Her lips tasted like strawberries because of her lip gloss, I always font lip gloss appealing after that.

Zim didn't have such lip gloss but some how… His lips tasted better.

His mouth tasted like a sour candy you can't stop eating I loved the taste as a explored the caverns of his mouth quickly then I slowly licked the Irken tongue. Wow, it tasted like straight out sugar. Zim shivered in my grasp; did that mean he liked it too?

His tongue was harder then a humans, but not rock hard, just slightly harder, it was also very slick and had small indents every centimeter or so, like lines going horizontally down the thing.

I fount the feeling very interesting, I began wrapping my tongue around his and Zim suddenly caught on to what I was doing. And began wrestling back, the kiss became very intimate and rough very fast then. I pulled away Irken spit still swimming in my mouth.

Zim leaned against the wall my palms still resting on his checks which were now completely flustered. The alien, my alien, looked at me with big red eyes and a small smile "That was much like a smut lock." His smirk grew evil as he gracefully traced the bulge in my pants "Only thing is we start doing other things after wards he grabbed me and I was the one to gasp this time. Zim licked my cheek hungrily; I rubbed my erection to his and Zim squeaked out a moan. I quickly stopped afraid I'd do something I'd regret.

He looked up at me with embarrassed eyes

I laughed nervously then asked "Do you know what gay is?"

He blinked at me "Are you going to show me that to?"

I creased his cheek "Just did, it's when two people of the same sex like each other in a lover sort of way and do this kind of stuff."

Did I love Zim?

Finally the bell signaling 'lunch is over' rang

I shook my head "Let's go before we're late." Zim nodded and we left to return to the classroom.

* * *

The bitterly old teacher was kind enough to let us give out valentine cards of course neither I nor Zim received or gave such cards. We simply sat in the back I explaining to Zim was Valentines Day meant.

Zim blinked "So we give out cards showing affection to our mates? Interesting…" he trailed off then suddenly turned to me "Does that make us…?"

I blushed "only if you want to be."

Zim and I turned our attention to the movie we'd be watching for the rest of the day. Zim and I sat their quietly. We didn't speak till it was time to leave and we were at the door. Everyone was already gone. The hallway vacant to just Zim and I.

Snow was falling to the ground "This is another form of H2o." he sighed "Zim forgot his jacket"

I then did something unexplainable I took off my trench coat and shielded Zim with it, "Want me to walk you home?"

Zim slowly and unsurely tiptoed to kiss my cheek "As long as Dib-human will be my valentine."

Said Dib-human smiled, being me and said "I'd love to."

And Zim and I hand in hand started our journey home.

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**Not the greatest Zadr ever but hey it's my first, please review ^ ^.**


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